THE LIGHTER SIDE

"You are much in error," returned Mr. Choate firmly — "much in error. You look for your reward in the next world, but we lawyers have to get ours in this." An incident in Mr. Choate's early practice was recently related by an old-time lawyerHe was opposed to a hot-tempered attorney by no means his equal in repartee. In the progress of the case Choate's adversary wholly departed from his self-control and threatened physical hurt to his opponent. "I can whip six like you," asserted the lawyer. Choate looked at him with a pro found, calm contempt. "When I was a boy," he returned, " my father owned a bull. He was a wonder to fight. He could whip all the cattle in the neighborhood, and did it. But at that," concluded the young man, " he couldn't win a lawsuit." On at least two occasions Mr. Choate got the worst of the discussion. One was in the trial of a will case, and Felix McClusky, door keeper of the House of Representatives, was on the stand. McClusky had testified defin itely and emphatically to certain facts which unless controverted, would seriously affect the interests of Mr. Choate's client. On crossexamination, of course, it was Mr. Choate's business so far as possible to discredit the witness by his own assertions. The first question asked was this: "Is it true, Mr. McClusky, that you have general repute as the modern Baron Munchausen?" "You are the second blackguard that has asked me that question in the last week!" shouted McClusky, red of face and neck, and the examination presently closed. If McClusky's testimony were impaired, it was by other evidence than his own. A Touching Appeal. — A North Carolina lawyer sends the following clipping from a newspaper, which shows that the days of true eloquence have not passed: — "This was a trial in Unacoi county, East Tennessee," said the lawyer, " and the in dictment of defendant was for killing the prosecutor's hog. "The facts were that the prosecutor lived on the head of a stream, and the defendant lived about a mile or two lower

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down the stream, and, in the month of May, the prosecutor's old sow got out and strayed off down the valley and got out inthe defendant's field and rooted up his corn. The allegation was that the defendant killed her, mangling her up pretty badly, and cutting her up with knives. "A young barrister named Smith, who had just gotten his license, was employed to aid the solicitor in the prosecution. The case was set for trial, and the attorney arose and, with a very solemn air, said: — '" May it please your honor, and you, gentlemen of the jury, since the days of the assassination of the lamented president of the United States, to wit, Abraham Lincoln, no such foul crime has stained our country's escutcheon as the assassina tion of Jack Edwards' black and white spotted sow. "' Gentlemen of the jury, and may it please your honor, go with me to the place of the tragedy and contemplate the scene and the circumstances. ".' On that lovely morning in May, when the earth was dressed in her robes of green, and the air filled with the smell of sweetscented flowers and enlivened by the voice of merry songsters, as that old sow walked forth in her innocence down that little stream, listening to the music of the waters, little did she dream that before the king of day hid himself behind the western hori zon she should become the victim of a foul assassination.'"—Case and Comment. It Pays to Advertise. — After experiments extending over a period of six months, Justice Werremeyer of Clayton has decided that it pays to advertise. Acting promptly on his decision, he began Monday the posting of his latest appeal for lovesick couples to embark on the " sea of matrimony " from his port. This new advertisement replaces his wellknown couplet: "Go choose the one you love the best, Then come to Clayton for the rest." The new verse reads : . "As these two hearts are intertwined So may your lives be bound. And when you've set the wedding day At Clayton I'll be found."