THE LIGHTER SIDE

motion, in order to permit those who have been so fortunate as to escape with their political lives an opportunity to be dragged to death; and provided further, that whenever a mangled and bleeding political corpse implores for mercy, the driver of the vehicle shall, in accordance with the provisions of this bill "Throw out the life-line." Laws of Kansas, 1903, c. 67, § 1. Wouldn't interrupt the Argument. — Down in Cochran, Ga., the affairs of civil justice are administered by Judge Edwards, who is also an enthusiastic farmer. One cloudy spring afternoon court was convened to try a pecu liarly tortuous and perplexing case. Judge Edwards listened with growing unrest. He was observed at last to seize a slip of paper, scribble a few words, place the document beneath a heavy paper weight and reach for his hat. "Captain," he called, cheerily, " excuse me fur interruptin' you, suh; you go right on with your argument, which is a darned good one. It's suah goin' to rain this evening, gentlemen, an' I got to set out my potatoes right away. But you go right on, Captain! When you an' the Major get through you-all'll find my deci sion under this heah paper weight." The door closed upon an astonished orator — Nashville Banner. Hard Lines. — Dr. Austin Flint, the alienist, said at the Century Club in New York, apropos of a will contest that had been tried last year: "The plaintiff lost, and no wonder. His case was as difficult a one as that of the young man who appeared unduly depressed after the death of his rich aunt. "' Why are you so sad? ' an acquaintance said to the young man. ' You never appeared to care much for your aunt.' "' I didn't,' said the youth, dolefully; ' but I was the means of keeping her in an insane asylum the last five years of her life, and now that she has left me all her money I've got to go to court and prove that she was of sound mind.' " — Washington Star. Hot Wrong, But — Emanuel Lasker, the chess expert, was discussing in New York the ethics of a certain style of play. "Well," he ended, laughing, " I suppose it

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is all right; but it is intricate, eh? It is like the subject discussed in the debating society "' Is it wrong ' — that was the subject of debate — ' Is it wrong to cheat a lawyer? ' "The decision after three hours' argument was: "' Not wrong, but too difficult to pay for the trouble.' " — Washington Star. English as Spoken. — A cockney solicitor who was characteristically mixed in the use of his h's happened to meet one of the wits of the American bar. The Englishman, com menting on the legal profession of New York, said that its members were proficient and learned, but that they were absolutely ignorant on the subject of " hentails." "Ah! " said the American. " My dear sir, we may be ignorant of the ' hentail,' but our knowledge of the ' cocktail ' is unsurpassed." — Lippincotts. The Power of Liquor. — During the early days of the prohibition law in Iowa there were many cases coming up, where liquor was seized, and the question arose as to whether or not the liquor was intoxicating. Once a bottle-goods case was on for trial in one of the courts of midland Iowa and a jury was duly selected to try the issues as to whether or not the stuff called by some " sloop ale," by others "home brew joy," " white rose " etc., was intoxicating. There was evidence of the offi cers, and others that the stuff was kept on the premises, and sold, and that the people got drunk on it. There was evidence by the de fendant and others that it was a safe, soft drink, while others did not know whether it was beer or not, although it was duly proved that these men were old hands in rushing the growler. The liquor was brought into court in a case, and the jury wished to have the case sent to the jury room for examination. The jury was out a long time, and finally came back into the court room and asked to be discharged. The judge asked the reason why. The foreman arose and with a dignified bearing said " your honor, there be two jurors who refuse to vote on dis here ting, for they got noting of the beer, we drank up. Before we can agree der sheriffs must bring in some more beer dat dem other two fellers do get their share of the drinks."