386

THE GREEN BAG

•during the short time a witness had taken to enter the house and return. The prosecution contended that the interval was too short for all the incidents to have happened as nar rated by the defense. Mr. Sloan, in argu ment, took out his watch, paced the distance in the court room, went through the motions of untying the team, driving it, and retying it as testified to by the defendant, going about it slowly and methodically as the defendant might have done, and then stood still, watch in hand, while the remaining seconds ticked off monotonously to the alert and straining court room. The prisoner was acquitted. DOWN in Dixie, in the old "Mother of States," which has given so many distin guished and learned legal lights to the Bar — of courts and cross-road stores — a band of thieves had infested a neighborhood until scarcely a "smoke-house" or chicken roost remained immune. At last a big, black, burly specimen of the genus negro was apprehended full handed, of said chickens, and as there seemed not the slightest hope of escape, he resolved to throw himself upon the "ignance of de cote," or, as they say down there, to "turn state's evidence," and plead for the mercy of the court. He made a full confes sion in which many others were implicated, and was the only witness for the prosecution in the trial which I had the pleasure of wit nessing. The prisoner, a mulatto of rather more than average intelligence, had retained as his counsel a celebrated (among his race in that locality) negro lawyer who was of the same ebony shade, as the prosecuting witness who was as black as a pile of black cats. The witness gave a full, clear, and connected account of the theft, told how he and the prisoner had gone in the night time and broken into the chicken house and carried off the contents of the roost. It was a very probable and credible story and the prosecu tion rested. The negro lawyer put witnesses on the stand, friends and relatives of the prisoner, and established an absolute alibi, the prisoner testifying that on that night he was at home. The state had no more evidence and the Commonwealth's attorney in his address to the jury remarked that the case was too plain for argument, that they had heard the

negro's story and must find a verdict of guilty. When the negro lawyer arose to ad dress the jury he spoke, about as near as I can recollect, as follows: "May it please de Cote and Gent'men ob de Jury: You has done heerd de evidence ob de prosecution, you has listened to de evi dence of the defense; de eloquent gent'man, Colonel Carter, ob de prosecution has highlyentertained you, and now I hab de honor ob addressin' you on behalf ob de prisoner at de Bah. Now, gent'men, what kind o' evidence has de prosecution got? How many witnesses dey got? One. And who is dat one? Dar he is, gent'men; look at him; a nigger as black as de hinges o' hell; a self-confessed thief; he done told you hisself how he done gone out and broke in folks' smoke house and stole deir meat, done rob white folks' chicken roos' while my client was at home in de bosom ob his famly. Gent'men, you can't blieve dat nigger; a nigger dat will steal will lie, and he done tol' you how he done steal, and now dey gwine sen' him to de penitenchy for de res' o' his life, I spec. But, gent'men, dat sure is a mean nigger; mean, dat ain't no name for him. I done search de pages o' histry to find a man as mean as dat nigger. I done gone back to the very olest times and come down thew all ages and I ain't find a man as mean as dat nigger. Gent'men, dat nigger is meaner dan any man I ever hear tell of. Gent'men. dat nigger is meaner dan Judas Iscariot, cause arter he done gone and betray his Lord and Marster, he was decent enough to go out and hang hisself, but dis nigger come up here as bold as a sheep wit" a grin on his face and want to send my client to jail." DURING a session of the Supreme Court of Maine, at Augusta, a tedious and complicated real estate case had pretty nearly worn out the patience of the counsel on both sides. One of the lawyers engaged was F. A. Appleton, whose fame as a wit was wide-spread. Opposing him was a lawyer of pompous mien and much avoirdupois, who kept mak ing blunder after blunder, until even the judge became irritated. After making a particularly aggravating error, he said: "I beg your honor's pardon, that was an