THE TALE OF "34 FEDERAL"

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down. Then master read from me four solid There was a dead silence in the court pages in a big, emphatic voice, pausing now room after this, and I could just see over and then to innate his chest and glower at the edge of the judge's desk that my master his opponent. Sometimes he would read a turned very red. Then the wrangling broke sentence over slowly and quietly and then out again, but it did not last much longer, roar it out again, all the time thumping my and soon my master gathered together his pages with his heavy hand. Of course I papers and started to leave. The judge knew this was not anger on his part, so I called him back and returned me to him. didn't mind it, though it cracked the glue in To my surprise he seized me quite roughly my back very badly. and carried me back to the office, held under Master's opponent didn't seem to mind his arm so I feared I would fall to the muddy this either, for he sat and smiled throughout pavement at any moment. Arrived at the master's recital. The more noise master office, my master flung his papers on the made, the more steadily the other man desk and then held me in his left hand smiled. Finally master said: while he struck me several hard blows with "I think, if your honor please, that this his right hand, all the time growling out case is quite decisive as to the present con the most unprintable sort of words. troversy. Perhaps your honor would like After many minutes of this sort of abuse, which bruised me both within and without, to see the case yourself." Master passed me over to the judge, who he seized me with his right hand and flung placed me before him on his high desk. me in the far corner, where I landed between Pride filled every thread in my binding. the safe and a waste-basket in a very bat Before the judge had adjusted his glasses, tered state — my front cover almost torn off and my leaves all open. There I have lain however, the opposing attorney rose. "If your honor please," he began, in a for days — weeks I think it is now. Once sort of whimsical drawl, "the attorney rep in a while my master, in passing by, kicks resenting Mr. Brown has unfortunately neg me with his heavy boot. This pains me lected to examine the last volume of the greatly, but I feel that I shall soon be be Supreme Court Reporter which has just yond all pain. The next time the scrubcome to my hands. The case of Notman v. bing-man picks me up and lays me on mas Northern Consolidated, etc., Co., p. 225, is ter's desk, will probably mark my end. The worthy of attention. Allow me to read the scrubbing-man has done that three times, final words of the decision: meaning to be kind, but each time my mas "The 'pig-iron' case, as it is commonly ter pounces on me in the morning with a called in the ' 34th Federal," has been so per savage growl and throws me back in the sistently brought to the attention of the corner, more ragged and wounded than be court in this cause, that a final word is fore. necessary as to that decision. There can be I hear Mr. Brown joking master in the but little doubt that the opinion in the outer office, something about a contingent 'pig-iron' case proceeded from a mistaken fee. Last week when Mr. Brown left master view of the facts, or else was predicated upon swore he had a mind to throw me out of facts not appearing in the record. Certain the window, but he finally said : "No, I it is that that decision is to-day without won't," and flung me back in this corner. following in any of the courts of the United The door has slammed. Mr. Brown has States and England, and cannot be regarded gone. Master is coming into his office. as having any weight in the decision of the CHICAGO, ILL., March, 1905. cause at present before this court."