450
The Green Bag.
who committed rape were also thus punished. Immuring was also used; thus in Zurich (a. d. 1489) two men were immured. Cowards were, in older times, buried in dung or in a morass. See Tacitus, Germania, cap. ia. "Ipiavos et imbelles et corpore infames cxno ac piiude, infecta insuper crate, mcrgunt." The Romans had the same punishment, as witness Uvy, L 51.
FACETIÆ. HE WOULD NOT VIOLATE HIS OATH. Quite a number of years ago, before Mount Washington had become so much of a summerresort, a party were taken up over the carriageroad by an old driver, who, being unable to write his name, always found some excuse for not giv ing his signature. Arriving at the old Tip-top House, they all went in to register their names, as was the usual custom; and the pen being passed to the driver, with the request that he add his name as a member of the party, he excused himself by saying that several years before, while he and others were at work upon the mountain, a fearful storm arose, which threatened destruction to every living thing upon the mountain top; that in his great terror and fear of losing his life he promised God upon his bended knees that if He would spare him and return him in safety to his family, He would never catch him or hear of his being up there again; and that if he registered God would at once see and recognize his signature, and would thus know that he had broken his promise. He did not register. Not long since, in one of the justice courts in Americtis, Ga., a case was being tried; and during the progress of the trial a legal question was sub mitted to the court, upon which it was insisted by a prominent young attorney that the court pass at once. The court deeming it unnecessary to decide the question just then, the young attorney told the judge that if he did n't decide it he would get out a writ of mandamus and compel him to. The judge looked around the court-room and then at the young attorney, and remarked solertinly : " Well, I have been deacon in the church, and a preacher,
and I have been justice of the peace a long time, and this is the first time I've been accused of the crime of mandamus." In a certain village in a Western State, which re joiced in the possession of only one lawyer, an ac tion was commenced before Justice S., and " W.," the local attorney, retained by the plaintiff. The defendant employed counsel from the county-seat, but the return day came and no lawyer appeared. Defendant, in distress, was relating his woes to a group of idlers, on the lookout for fun and mis chief, when a stranger appeared, wearing a suit of black, with silk hat and gold-headed cane. This was one A., a "tree peddler" from a neighbor ing town, a fellow of much versatility and acumen, and withal considerable of a wag. Some one of the group, seeing sport ahead, told the defendant that A. was Judge X., a great lawyer from St. Paul, and that if the judge could be prevailed upon to take his case, victory was sure. To carry out the joke, the defendant was introduced to the pseudo judge, and explaining the situation, besought his aid. A. condescendingly replied that although he had long since ceased to practise in these inferior courts, he appreciated the hard situation of his would-be client, and would consent to undertake his defence. When ushered into the presence of the court, he was in troduced to his honor as Judge X. of St. Paul. S., highly elated at the honor of having such emi nent counsel appear in his court, at once called the case. A. arose, made a motion to dismiss, and argued with great pomposity and at considerable length, quoting pretended decisions of the Supreme Courts of the United States, and the State of Min nesota, referring to Blackstone and every other lawwriter of whom he had ever heard, and not omitting the most open and shameless flattery of the magis trate. When he concluded and sat down, W., the local counsel, arose to reply, whereat the justice smote the table a thundering blow, and cried, in a voice pregnant with righteous indignation : "Sit down, sir! That is Judge X., of St. PauL Don't you suppose he knows the law? What do you mean by attempting to contradict him? This case will be dismissed." Prison warder (to new convict). We assign men here to occupations with which they are familiar. So, if you have any special line, say so, and we will start you at once.