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  • Love? (many people romantically love one another without marriage)
  • Commitment? (many marriage partners don't recognize themselves as "committed" in that context)
  • Mutual residence? (we won't say that stranger roommates are "married").
  • Sex? (we won't say that stranger "hooker" and "customer" are "married).
  • Children? (some married couples choose not to have children even if they can).
  • Bureaucratical record? (some marriage ceremonies happened before bureaucracy even existed on this earth)

What is marriage?

unmarriedinquirer
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    Why would a dictionary or encyclopedia not be sufficient to answer this question? – Just Some Old Man Sep 23 '21 at 03:20
  • Well, it began as a way to socially recognize and enforce monogamy for child-rearing, largely to help assure the father that their children are genetically his, so he would care for them. After that, it grew and changed on its own as a social institution. We can't say that marriage is about any one thing; it has been tied into many aspects of our way of life and means different things to different people. Sex, emotional attachment, children, taxes, religion. Marriage is a social institution associated with those things, but distinct from any of them. – causative Sep 23 '21 at 03:22
  • @JustSomeOldMan because their definition is less likely to include formal logical analysis common between philosophers. – unmarriedinquirer Sep 23 '21 at 06:49
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    [SEP, Marriage and Domestic Partnership](https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/marriage/):"*‘Marriage’ can refer to a legal contract and civil status, a religious rite, and a social practice, all of which vary by legal jurisdiction, religious doctrine, and culture... while the contemporary Western ideal of marriage involves a relationship of love, friendship, or companionship, marriage historically functioned primarily as an economic and political unit used to create kinship bonds, control inheritance, and share resources and labor.*" – Conifold Sep 23 '21 at 11:27
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    Marriage is essentially a legally binding contract which establishes rights and obligations regarding the relationship itself and common goods. Sex, love, commitment, etc. are not mandatory. – RodolfoAP Sep 23 '21 at 17:08

2 Answers2

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A public agreement between a couple and their community/society to acknowledge and respect their sexual/romantic-partner relationship.

(So your last one, "bureaucratical record", is closest, but, as you say, marriage happened before governments and written records).

MGOwen
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  • Thank you for the answer, clearly requests to respect doesn't help in cases of hatred such as racism or abrahamic fanaticism. – unmarriedinquirer Sep 23 '21 at 06:59
  • Also, often times in ancient societies marriages were forced upon people so it might have been a request of the parents to respect the alleged bond, rather than the alleged bonders asking this themselves. – unmarriedinquirer Sep 23 '21 at 07:54
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Today's typical example of marriage is two people who are legally united, probably live together, have kids and wear wedding rings. It is the legal process however that technically equates to marriage in our society, but as you and MGOwen pointed out, marriage goes back before government.

Therefore I would suggest that marriage is the decision made by two people to faithfully live their lives together and support one another through thick and thin (physically, emotionally, sexually, etc.), and for better or worse as they both strive to overcome and conquer the many obstacles and complexities of life. The specific actions tied to this decision (ex. making a marriage legal) are determined by the culture and time period in which the decision is made. However regardless of these factors, those who are married are making the choice to watch each other's six during the battle of life, so to speak. In summary, marriage includes the decision, and the continuous fulfilment of the vowed and implied terms of that decision.

Some of the options you gave aren't marriage per se but an argument may be made that they should only exist within the context of a marriage (ex. sex or having kids), hence the possible conclusion that these things equal marriage by implication.

AOJ Booker
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